Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
