I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this boner is exhausting
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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