I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
