first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm always down for nudity.
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