it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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