something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
