its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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