there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
