I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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