Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My room smells like vodka and shame
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
