Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
