Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
