ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
