why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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