He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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