Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
