Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize