do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
