Can Purell be used as lube?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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