bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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