was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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