Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize