My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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