Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
