i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
