billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
