dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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