Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
