Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
