that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
