I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
