The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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