i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
