Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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