i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
