There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you made out with another girl for some wings
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
