I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
