this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
