I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
