Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
