Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
