AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize