Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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