if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
