is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
