and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
