Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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