Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
