sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
