Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
