My brain says no but my pants say off.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
