I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
