I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am naked and annoyed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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