hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
