HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
