We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
