That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she told me i tasted like america
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
