you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
